Comments for July 4th http://gmillz.wordpress.com Three hundred sixty-five days a year Mon, 19 May 2008 23:22:28 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on response to poem/poetry: Ezra Pound, In a Station of the Metro by Unit Reflection « July 4th http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/response-to-poempoetry-ezra-pound-in-a-station-of-the-metro/#comment-180 Unit Reflection « July 4th Mon, 19 May 2008 23:22:28 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=87#comment-180 [...] of saying something new in an absolutely unique way. I chose to respond to Ezra Pound for the first assignment because he more than any other poet captured so much with so little in “In a Station of the [...] [...] of saying something new in an absolutely unique way. I chose to respond to Ezra Pound for the first assignment because he more than any other poet captured so much with so little in “In a Station of the [...]

]]> Comment on response to poem/poetry: Ezra Pound, In a Station of the Metro by Poetry unit reflection « July 4th http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/response-to-poempoetry-ezra-pound-in-a-station-of-the-metro/#comment-155 Poetry unit reflection « July 4th Sat, 10 May 2008 16:13:02 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=87#comment-155 [...] of saying something new in an absolutely unique way. I chose to respond to Ezra Pound for the first assignment because he more than any other poet captured so much with so little in “In a Station of the [...] [...] of saying something new in an absolutely unique way. I chose to respond to Ezra Pound for the first assignment because he more than any other poet captured so much with so little in “In a Station of the [...]

]]> Comment on Reading as a Writer: Lorrie Moore by Fiction Reflection « July 4th http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/reading-as-a-writer-lorrie-moore/#comment-123 Fiction Reflection « July 4th Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:44:57 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-123 [...] about what really makes a conversation, and what the reader needs to hear from the characters. Reading Lorrie Moore (and writing) as a writer helped broaden my understanding of dialog and the ways you can weave it [...] [...] about what really makes a conversation, and what the reader needs to hear from the characters. Reading Lorrie Moore (and writing) as a writer helped broaden my understanding of dialog and the ways you can weave it [...]

]]> Comment on Two sentences for three strangers by Fiction Reflection « July 4th http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/03/31/two-sentences-for-three-strangers/#comment-122 Fiction Reflection « July 4th Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:44:38 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=67#comment-122 [...] through the dimensions of making the real into the imaginary was great. I had a blast with the two-sentence stranger study. For the creative nonfiction stranger study, I felt that I learned a lot about what specific [...] [...] through the dimensions of making the real into the imaginary was great. I had a blast with the two-sentence stranger study. For the creative nonfiction stranger study, I felt that I learned a lot about what specific [...]

]]> Comment on 5+pager by matts9989 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/04/15/5pager/#comment-120 matts9989 Wed, 16 Apr 2008 23:15:33 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=73#comment-120 hey gregg, I think the most striking sections are when you return to the present. I felt the nastiness between the two of them in my guts, though it was tempered well with quiet sadness. Doug is definitely right -- the contrast in tone between past and present is really evident: something rings false about his memory, like it's almost too soft and positive to be real. This makes sense within the story, too; if their marriage turned out so badly they must have been blind to some flaw in their relationship before. Looking forward to talking about it in class, Matt hey gregg,

I think the most striking sections are when you return to the present. I felt the nastiness between the two of them in my guts, though it was tempered well with quiet sadness. Doug is definitely right — the contrast in tone between past and present is really evident: something rings false about his memory, like it’s almost too soft and positive to be real. This makes sense within the story, too; if their marriage turned out so badly they must have been blind to some flaw in their relationship before.
Looking forward to talking about it in class,
Matt

]]> Comment on 5+pager by doug http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/04/15/5pager/#comment-119 doug Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:53:44 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=73#comment-119 Gregg, I like what you've done here. I really feel the build up throughout the piece - the give and take between the flashbacks and returning to the wheel of fortune and gina really creates these increasing steps of tension. The contrast in John's mood between his flashback and his present is really well displayed in your writing. I also like how you name people - when gina is really overbearing it's gina. I don't know if you thought about this, but maybe instead of ending right at the apex, you could add some more to give the arc a bit more of a tail end. Maybe some more time for this resolution to sink in. Personally I like the way you've done it but you may want to consider this. Doug Gregg,
I like what you’ve done here. I really feel the build up throughout the piece – the give and take between the flashbacks and returning to the wheel of fortune and gina really creates these increasing steps of tension. The contrast in John’s mood between his flashback and his present is really well displayed in your writing. I also like how you name people – when gina is really overbearing it’s gina.

I don’t know if you thought about this, but maybe instead of ending right at the apex, you could add some more to give the arc a bit more of a tail end. Maybe some more time for this resolution to sink in. Personally I like the way you’ve done it but you may want to consider this.

Doug

]]> Comment on Two sentences for three strangers by cjb27 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/03/31/two-sentences-for-three-strangers/#comment-112 cjb27 Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:53:56 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=67#comment-112 I really like your last line as well! I'm in agreement with Laura, though, that it needs a bit more of a build-up since it is such a strong statement. I like the tension you have created between the characters - they all seem related without necessarily realizing it themselves. I really like your last line as well! I’m in agreement with Laura, though, that it needs a bit more of a build-up since it is such a strong statement.

I like the tension you have created between the characters – they all seem related without necessarily realizing it themselves.

]]> Comment on Two sentences for three strangers by minnowlefrak http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/03/31/two-sentences-for-three-strangers/#comment-111 minnowlefrak Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:42:44 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=67#comment-111 I really like the moment you've chosen to describe here, and I can recognize the characters well. However, the pace of the paragraph seems a bit fast for the moment you've chosen. I felt rushed through, when really this scene seems like something that could happen all day, ever day, and perhaps should be described as such (though I know that's hard to do in just 2 sentences!!). Maybe by tightening up the sentences, you could reach more powerfully that great moment at the end that Laura noted above. I also like your take on Jeopardy- cool detail I really like the moment you’ve chosen to describe here, and I can recognize the characters well. However, the pace of the paragraph seems a bit fast for the moment you’ve chosen. I felt rushed through, when really this scene seems like something that could happen all day, ever day, and perhaps should be described as such (though I know that’s hard to do in just 2 sentences!!). Maybe by tightening up the sentences, you could reach more powerfully that great moment at the end that Laura noted above.

I also like your take on Jeopardy- cool detail

]]> Comment on Kafka-like by cjb27 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/kafka-like/#comment-110 cjb27 Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:41:45 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=68#comment-110 Gregg, I really enjoyed this piece. I think you did a good job of creating a sense of longing in just a few sentences. Gregg,

I really enjoyed this piece. I think you did a good job of creating a sense of longing in just a few sentences.

]]> Comment on Two sentences for three strangers by laublog5 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/2008/03/31/two-sentences-for-three-strangers/#comment-109 laublog5 Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:33:45 +0000 http://gmillz.wordpress.com/?p=67#comment-109 I feel a connection to something great here, but I think it needs a little tweaking. I was confused as to who "the man" was because at first I thought he was working and then a customer and then a "regular" who just comes and reads and catches up on gossip and TV. Also, what do you think might happen if you played with dialogue in this piece? Your last line is powerful but it feels like there needs to be more build-up to deserve such a great statement. :) I feel a connection to something great here, but I think it needs a little tweaking. I was confused as to who “the man” was because at first I thought he was working and then a customer and then a “regular” who just comes and reads and catches up on gossip and TV. Also, what do you think might happen if you played with dialogue in this piece? Your last line is powerful but it feels like there needs to be more build-up to deserve such a great statement. :)

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